Saturday, June 15, 2013

Farewell 26, Thanks for Everything.


We’re always hearing about them lessons.  All the time hearing all this valid stuff from all of these valid sources that makes all this perfect sense, but that we can’t truly and fully appreciate until they become our own lessons learned.  As we grow older, we discover that there is no real replacement for first-hand experience, and that doing is the most effective way to truly learning, and there’s just not much of a way around it.  And as it goes, learning the hard way is usually the best way, for there is great purpose and opportunity in struggle when endured with grace and fortitude. 

So, As I close in on my 26th year, and welcome this next fresh chapter, I’m using this week to reflect on the lessons… what did 26 do for me?  How am I, after one year’s lapse, more prepared to do stronger and be better?

Although everything affects everything, and there’s no real separation between our areas of life, I’m going to break it down into categories anyway for the sake of organization (because organization is sexy).  

On Work:

It’s okay to try many, many things.

It’s okay to quit most of them, knowing that I’m gaining something from all of them.

It’s okay to think and declare, “This is it!  This is what I’m gonna do now!”

It’s okay to change my mind.

Here’s the kicker: Paying attention to what I don’t quit, even if it’s just one commitment emerging from every 20 attempts is where the clues lie… this is where my higher purpose is imbedded.

There's a time for discovery, and there's a time for honing.  Bruce said it best:

(illustration by Dante Cureton. He's the freakin man y'all).
Patience, patience, patience.   

Self-guided work with collaborative exchanges (please hit me up if you ever want to partner on a project) is the way I do best.

On Love (the romantic kind):

Shit. Aint. Easy.

To love fully and fearlessly, even at the expense of a broken heart, is still somehow the most worth it thing I’ve done yet. 

And with that experience, I’m now much more interested in the “slow and steady wins the race” approach. 

I’ve learned the most about the contents of my soul by loving another. 

Honest and open communication is the golden stuff.  It doesn’t exactly lessen the pain if it doesn’t end up working, but it does take away some dreadful agony in trying to figure out why it failed.  

Meeting halfway, compromise, a balanced give and take = essential components to healthful relating.

It really is about loving myself first and most.  When this is true, I’m only open to attracting those who encourage and illuminate my highest self. 

We get exactly what we ask for.  Which means that it’s really crucial to be mindful about what we’re asking, with our highest values at the forefront. 

Lifestyle is a biggy.

A mutual striving for balance is the biggy-est.

Passion is a feeling. Love is an action. It’s a choice.

On Friendship:

If it weren’t for my friends, I’d probably be checked-in to an insanity ward by now.


It’s the quality of character of our people that give us the best indication of who we are. 


On Everything:

It’s not the best idea to make big decisions when feeling emotionally fragile.  Even though in those moments it seems like THE thing to do. 

Struggle informs us of our strength and reinforces our values.

Quality of Life is everything.

Action is essential to getting through.

Establishing a keen awareness of the actions that contribute to my personal quality of living keeps forward movement ever-happening.

Embracing the unknown with courage is how we receive exactly what we need. 

There are NO LIMITS when happiness is the ultimate goal. 

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Hey, 27. I’m into you… and ALL of your impending lessons (the ever-so-slightly easier way because 26 happened).    


Biggest lesson(s) of your current (or recently past) Birth Year: Go!  

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"All of us might wish at times that we lived in a more tranquil world, but we don't. And if our times are difficult and perplexing, so are they challenging and filled with opportunity."-Robert Kennedy

I thought this quote was a good reply to your post this week. Love you sister and may your birthday wishes come true!

Anonymous said...

So, it must be your birthday. This post brought me to the realization that I REALLY want to see an catch up with you. I read your previous entry, too, but didn't know how to comment. It was wild because I had just previously (days before) been comparing the "Father, Son, Holy Ghost" symbolically with "Mind, Body, Spirit". I just resigned from my job so I will soon have Fridays totally free from all commitments, including children. Let's use one of those in July to reconnect. Much love,
Niki

Rebecka said...

Congratulations on your birthday my beautiful friend!! Thank you so much for sharing your lessons learned, I love the way you write and your way of describing important parts of life! Can't wait to talk to you face to face soon. And drinking coffe while writing! So I'm thinking that I have to visit Detroit this summer! Will you be there??
Love from Rebecka
ps. I'm sending you an email aswell!

Amanda Sansoterra said...

It's funny to me how your life, up to a point, is so heavily determined by those around you, i.e. family, friends. For me, I have always constantly fought the need to fit it, to be perfect, to be "this way," to be "that way." Huge struggle with this! Hiding behind sarcasm and one hell of a sassy mouth and attitude and then somewhere in my late 20s, I stopped and looked around and found that I was nothing because I was soooo many "false" things that others wanted me to be or expected me to be. So I stopped this ridiculousness and really explored what I wanted and the kind of person I was and let it ride and play out. With this decision, came the best things in my life thus far. And as my 30th b-day encroached upon me, I found myself living a life I adored: a bad ass career, a partner I can't imagine life without and living in one of the most transformative cities in our country at the moment. But everyone in my life before this, doesn't understand and still doesn't. I've lost relationships, both family and friends, I once held dear and had to learn to accept this which was by far one of my hardest circumstances to work through (still hurts at times). And the loss of relationships for a life that makes ME happy, is and will always be unbelievably puzzling to me (especially since not one thing I am or do is negative or wrong). Weird! So in this acceptance of myself, of soul searching and findings, a new form of confidence, realizations, transformations and much more has occurred and still occurs. So I bid farewell to my 20s as whole, thanking them for one crazy, hell of a ride filled with ups and downs, milestones and new beginnings and have embarked upon the journey of my 30's with open eyes, finally.