“Soooooooo…“ I eased in.
“Yes?”
She replied, as she diligently tackled her free-lance work deep into the
evening hours.
“All summer long, my quality of life maxed out at a
5. But NOW I’m an 8!”
She stopped what she was doing to express genuine
congratulations. And then sat and
pondered her numbers for a minute.
“Yep, that’s exactly me too… 5 to an 8!”
And then we happy danced.
Being a 5, on my personalized spectrum, is
something like a soft depression.
Functional, yet for the most part, joyless. Seem regular, but the light is perpetually on dimmer mode. It’s the fight or flight space. The yearning space. The attachment space. But what I had a hard time
acknowledging at the time, but can see oh so clearly now, is that this space
serves a very useful purpose...
When made the most of.
What did I do to cope with my 5-ness? I started this blog project. I painted my ass off. I discovered avenues for teaching art
to kiddos. I found an amazing
therapist who helped me see that I need to have more fun in my life. I didn’t
move across the country. I
empathized with other 5’s whom I love, whom are also eagerly shooting to be
10’s. We work diligently to support
each other. Every day we make
contributions toward healing one another.
In a reasonably short period of time, I situated my life just the way I
want it to be… for the time being.
And all this, not because I was a 10, but because I was a 5, and didn’t
want to be forever.
And then ya know, at some point I became a 6, a
6.5, and a 7. But I didn’t notice
these subtle shifts. It took being
an 8 to realize how far I’d come.
The emptiness that no longer feels so empty. The joy that is much more readily available. The attitude of non-attachment to particular
outcomes that I am way more comfortable navigating through life with.
And my ability to boogie again. Yes, that's right…Stella got her
groove back.
My goal of course, is to be a 10. But I’m open to the fact that I might
be a 2 again before I get there.
It’s cool. Because the TRUTH
IS OUT: nothing lasts forever.
And we have each other.
And we get exactly what we need, when we need
it.
So we climb, climb, fall, climb, fall, climb, fall,
fall, climb, CLIMB, CLIMB, CLIMB……
And realize, momentum is infectious.
And faith takes us right where we need to go.
