Here's to Loss.

“Losing love is like a window in your heart.  Everybody sees you’re blown apart. Everybody feels the wind blow.” 

Good ol' Paul Simon, just nails it, eh?  

As I'm sure we all can attest, loss just might be the most difficult thing we endure as a human species, and the root of many of our deepest fears. 

And because of this, it ends up doing a tremendous deal for us.

Words from a wise comrade: "We practice in life so we are graceful through death." 
--Ryan Patrick Laine. 

I think it’s safe to say that we experience the transformational benefits of loss only when we truly surrender to it.  Surrender to that gut-wrenching pain, to the uncontrollable tears in inconvenient situations, to the dull ache in the heart.  Taking the time to hate every single second of it, but feeling it, really fucking feeling it like your future happiness depends on it.  Because, well, it does.
     

This kind of surrender requires an immense amount of courage.

When we have the courage to feel, we are gifted in return with the capacity to heal.  The ability to learn monumental lessons that loss inevitably invokes, and the experience of deep gratitude for what and whom we still have. 

When we act in the best ways we know how, we don’t have to suffer from regret.  When we do everything we are able, we will heal back to wholeness and carry on with dignity, compassion, and greater understanding.  There's something to remembering the inevitability of all things eventually lost as the most valuable motivation to being our best selves to others.  This is the greatest gift loss offers.    

There is no better way to build strength and resilience then to lose something or someone near and dear to the heart. 

There is no better time to call upon faith, to connect with spiritual truths then when our hearts are broken, seeking comfort and meaning.    

It’s through loss that we build our ability to empathize with the pain of others, eventually gifting our experience of heartbreak to the comfort and solidarity of another.

In times of loss, it is our great challenge to choose healthy mechanisms for coping.  It is our great challenge to pour our energy into the things that make us better and bring us joy.

It is our great challenge to remember that time is the principal healer and if we allow our hearts to remain supple and open, then opportunity for future triumph is guaranteed. 

I warn against the fear of feelings.

I warn against building emotional walls.

I warn against mind/body/spirit numbing acts and concoctions.

These forms of temporary relief will cause much more damage in the long run.

When we allow ourselves to lose with presence and awareness, we are allowing ourselves to win the happiness that is meant for us. 

And so my advice goes as such:

Cry your fucking eyes out.

Scream your ass off.

Break some shit.

Give yourself the freedom, the right, and the power to feel the pain and overcome.

As we share our stories of loss, we make room in our hearts for joy. 

The floor’s all yours.