Friday, July 19, 2013

Enough Already.


Reading quotes aloud from a book of meditations to my friend Jack while building a bench together, this simple little one-liner gave us a big hearty dose.

“Knowing what is enough is wealth.”

Right.

If we can say,  “I have enough stuff” or “I am doing enough” or  “I have enough money” or “I have enough love in my life,” we aren’t suffering from the shame of inadequacy that a society built on superfluous abundance inflicts upon us. 

We are outsmarting them.  We are bigger than their brainwashing.  

“But how do you know what’s enough?” Jack asked.  “I mean, how does having aspirations fit into that?”

Good question Jack. 

What does it mean to quest in the direction of our highest potential and still be content with what we have… right now?  To have big dreams to reach toward while appreciating everything that we are and everything that we have as enough, today.

In this moment, I am in pretty severe physical pain.  And it's giving me clues.  

My past few days have been spent enduring a gnarly ass migraine, which has made it pretty difficult to do much of anything.  Thinking hurts, walking hurts, reading hurts, while sleeping is about the only thing that makes the pain go away... until I wake up.  It feels like my to-do list is growing by the minute, while nothing is being checked off.  And so today (and yesterday) my enough-capacity is really limited – actually, just writing this is enough. 

Tomorrow (I pray) my enough-capacity will increase, and the next day even more, and I can work harder, longer, and manage more.   But I can’t help but wonder if I’m in this pickle today because I’ve been defying me enough-capacity in days prior. 

Of a culture that values doing over being, we’re all suffering from a mass-neurosis around obsessive production.  Even those of us working “against the system,” the very system that keeps us down by over-working us, are no better, as we sacrifice our health-states, love-states, and peace-states for productivity-at-any-cost.         

But what is happiness made up of really?  What is fulfillment based on truly?  I can tell you one thing, it’s not this migraine.  And if I slow down, and gift myself the act of creation because it makes my life better rather than continue to be disempowered by the mind-set that I'm never doing enough, that the only way to make a mark on this place is to create as much as possible as quickly as possible, then I won’t lose two days to severe pain and incapacitation. 

Because the truth is, I haven’t even been swimming yet this summer. 

Respect your spirit.  

Be enough.

(photos are limited due to the fact that my brain hurts). 


5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sweet cousin, I'm learning the hard way, that the only way to ever be enough is make sure you are caring for yourself enough. Self care = balance. Self care. It looks different for each of us but the result is the same. It's a balanced soul that can be mote than enough and know when enough is enough. Love you.

sole2soul said...

There is always enough. We are always enough.... right now. As for aspirations, I continue to return to the place of expectations.

"If you are not happy, your expectations are too high. When you are happy, raise your expectations."

Lola Bunny said...

Amazing article

Emmasek said...

Hmmm.. This resonates. I like the idea of an "enough-capacity" that changes from day to day. You can only do so much given finite time and energy. Neglecting yourself is a sure fire way to deplete that capacity.

Being true to yourself and your limits is where it's at. We respect the boundaries of our bodies by taking care of our skin, and protecting our feet with shoes. We need to do the same things with the rest of our parts- emotional, intellectual and intuitional. In the end, it's all the same body anyway!

<3

jen said...

I quoted you here....as always, thanks, hope you are well.
http://20yearsdespues.blogspot.com